Rediscovering Fellowship

In the heart of Charleston, South Carolina, stands an old church building. Bright stained glass offsets the solemnity of heavy red brick. Inside, pictures of Jesus and other biblical figures etched in glass filter the light of the worship place.

But times have changed. Church of the Redeemer has been transformed into the Mesa Grill. In the glass case that once announced activities and the weekly sermon, there now hangs today's menu. Where hardwood pews once filled the worship space, upholstered booths sit among potted plants. Nachos have replaced communion bread. None of the patrons seem particularly aware of the incongruity of the place.

What's happened to Church of the Redeemer can be compared to what's happened to fellowship in the church—we've kept the term but lost the practice.

For many Christians today, the practice of fellowship is a lost biblical category.


Misunderstood

In its neglect, Christians have redefined fellowship to mean any warm human interchange—especially when we make connection with someone and discover that we have common interests, experiences, or viewpoints.

I enjoy the outdoors. Hiking, canoeing, and fishing are among my favorite leisure activities. When I meet someone who knows the joys of the Rose River Trail in Shenandoah National Park, or has canoed the rapids of the lower Youghiogheny River, or thrills at the first yank of the line signaling the strike of a smallmouth bass, our conversation is inevitably animated and friendly. But it is not fellowship.

If I spend time with a brother in Christ playing volleyball, talking about shared political views, or following the ups and downs of an NFL franchise, we may have a wonderful time and deepen our friendship. But in none of those things will we have had fellowship.

Let me press the point further. Fellowship is not (at least not necessarily) going to a Bible study with someone, or sharing doctrinal commitments, or attending a Christian men's rally where emotions run deep and passions are high. Fellowship is not found in a "group therapy" session where participants reveal their darkest thoughts—even if everyone in the group is a Christian and brings a Bible. In fact, two Christians can be married to one another and still not experience fellowship.

I have heard Christians complain that their relationships seem superficial and they don't know why. What they often fail to see is that, while all Christians have relationships, not all relationships include fellowship. In fellowship God offers us a precious but neglected gift—relationship at its deepest level, available only to people joined to Jesus Christ. If that is true, why wouldn't we want to define, pursue, and experience it?


Rediscovered

The word fellowship, as it is found in the English Bible, is a translation of the Greek word koinonia. Saying the word aloud brings to mind our word community, and so it should, for at its root fellowship and community are about what we have in common. But there's more to it than that: "fellowship" is not the only way to translate koinonia.

Here the Revised Standard Version of the Scriptures can help. It translates koinonia as "fellowship," but also as "participation" and "sharing." (In the following verses, the words that translate koinonia are italicized for emphasis).

And they devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers (Acts 2:42).

So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any incentive of love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy ... (Philippians 2:1).

And I pray that the sharing of your faith may promote the knowledge of all the good that is ours in Christ (Philemon 6).

What is fellowship as defined in the New Testament? Just this: participating together in the life and truth made possible by the Holy Spirit through our union with Christ. Fellowship is sharing something in common on the deepest possible level of human relationship—our experience of God himself.

Participating together ... life and truth ... sharing in common ... human relationship ... experience of God—these phrases capture the essence of the unique Christian experience of fellowship.

Some, upon hearing this, might be tempted to get off the bus that takes them to fellowship. Relationships, even between believers, come packaged with problems. To pursue relationships is to open ourselves to hurt, misunderstanding, and inconvenience, for our relationships are inevitably influenced by sin.

Others may think that fellowship with God is all they need. After all, doesn't the Bible teach that God and his Word are sufficient for all our needs pertaining to life and godliness?

Yes, it does. But the error comes in limiting the means God uses to help us apply truth to our lives. Only the Spirit can illuminate Scripture to our minds and give us the power to obey it. Yet the Spirit often chooses to employ other people as a means of communicating his truth to our ears and heart. He will of course use teachers of the Word through sermons, books, and recordings—but he will also use the ordinary guy in your small group!

And there's the rub. We can ignore teachers, close books, and turn off recordings. When we do pay attention, we can conveniently misapply teachings. But the people closest to us, if they're doing their job in fellowship, are not likely to let us ignore God's urgings so easily.

We're like the Israelites trudging through the wilderness, like the disciples huddled in the upper room after Jesus' ascension, like the pilgrims on the Mayflower. The negative view is that we're stuck with one another—confined by a desert, a hostile Jerusalem, or a stormy sea. But "stuck" is not the biblical attitude. Rather, we belong to one another and are called to help one another along on the journey. God has chosen fellowship to be a primary channel of life in his body.


Practiced

Ever heard the phrase "a means of grace"? In theology, it refers to things we can do—such as pray or meditate on Scripture—to put ourselves in a position to receive something from God. Fellowship is a means of grace, too. It's a way of getting to a place where God will meet us. So, what are the means of fellowship?

Worship God together. Worship is a means of experiencing fellowship with God through meditating on and declaring truth about him, giving thanks to him, and receiving a sense of his presence.

Pray for one another. Praying together, especially regarding the things that burden us and how God is at work in our lives, is about as close as we can get to experiencing someone else's fellowship with God and knowing the qualities of their relationship with the Lord.

Utilize our spiritual gifts to help others grow in God. If fellowship is participating together in the Spirit, what more obvious participation can there be than to serve one another by using our spiritual gifts?

Carry one another's burdens. We all have burdens, and we have a responsibility to communicate them—not just the challenges of losing a job or enduring an illness, but the inner conflicts as well. We also need to communicate the burdens of our fears, which are often embarrassing but can rule our souls. What a tragedy when the burdens of Christians weigh them down because they neglect to receive help through fellowship!

Share about our spiritual experiences. Since she was in high school, my wife has kept a journal of her times alone seeking God. It's not unusual for her to read to me from it, and I share the same sorts of things with her. It often takes just five minutes, but it's rich fellowship just the same.

Confess our sins to one another. This obvious source of help in conquering sin is often neglected because of our foolish pride. "Therefore confess your sins to one another," James writes, "and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective" (James 5:16).

Correct one another. Paul writes that when we see a brother caught in a sin, we should point it out to him to help promote his restoration (Gal. 6:1). As uncomfortable as this is, it is fellowship. And if we are at first unsuccessful in winning the errant brother, Jesus teaches us to widen the circle of fellowship to ensure that the correction is accurate and the brother receives every chance to be won (Mt. 18:15ff).

Serve one another. Effective serving requires knowing another's needs. Discovering these needs is often the product of fellowship. Imagine that a couple in your group reveals that they are experiencing unusual conflict due to neglect of their marriage. Fellowship may mean taking their children for a weekend so the parents can get away and work on righting the wrongs of their relationship.

Doing any of these things will not automatically produce fellowship. True fellowship is a work of the Spirit by grace. But these "means of fellowship" put us in a place where fellowship becomes possible. When we fail to practice them, we forfeit the opportunity to draw on the grace that could be ours in our relationships with each other.

Aids to Fellowship

Ask questions. Get beyond the superficial "How ya doin'?" Most of us desire to share our trials, burdens, successes, and interests with others—all we lack is a brother or sister with a willing ear.

Volunteer information. Fellowship flows when we volunteer information about our internal state to others. The purpose is to gain their honest evaluation of how we are dealing with issues and how we can change.

Be creative. Hospitatlity is a biblical practice that fosters fellowship. But any contact between Christians—especially those in your own church, and most especially those in your small group—is also an opportunity for fellowship.

Used by permission. Excerpt from Why Small Groups? © 1996 Sovereign Grace Ministries, SovereignGraceMinistries.org. John Loftness is the senior pastor of Solid Rock Church in Riverdale, Maryland, and a leader in the Sovereign Grace family of ministries.