Is Encouragement Always Positive?

After a stern reprimand from my coach, I cried out, "I could really use some encouragement!" He responded by quoting legendary basketball coach Bobby Knight: "Many have the will to play, but few have the will to prepare." His words stung, but they helped me improve as a player.

Many times since, the words of Proverbs have proven true in my experience: "Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses" (27:6). "He who rebukes a man will in the end gain more favor than he who has a flattering tongue" (28:23).

Encouraging words aren't always "soft and cuddly." Sometimes the strength we need will only come through tough words calling us to hard work and discipline.

The word encourage means "to instill, impart, or call to courage" for the purpose of reaching a goal or completing a task. With "en-courage-ment" comes the confidence and will to stand up, to act, to stay faithful. It gives us continued strength to do what God calls us to do. Encouraging words are the adrenaline of endurance, the building blocks of vision, the daily maintenance of hope.

As I look at it, the whole Bible is actually a word of encouragement. Sometimes the words are affirming; other times they are challenging; sometimes they may even be confrontational! (For examples of different types of encouragement, read Psalms 1, 23, 73, and 150.) But whenever I turn to the Bible, I find a source of strength and wisdom from God.

There are at least four kinds of encouragement in God's Word: nurturing, building, correcting, and protecting. The first two are the comforting forms of encouragement—perhaps those we naturally associate with the word. The other two are the tougher forms, often misunderstood and unused.

But both "positive" and "negative" forms are needed. Valued friendship, good leadership, effective parenting, and godly discipleship blend all four types.

The apostle Paul modeled how this works in his pastoral letters. For example, in 1 Corinthians 9:24-27, he assumes the role of a coach preparing and developing believers for a real spiritual contest. Notice that he uses both positive and negative encouragement, first urging believers to run hard for the prize of God, but also warning against aimlessness and lack of self-control that can disqualify them from the race.

Similarly, in Galatians 6:1-10, Paul instructs believers on how encouragement should be used to combat sin. Here it has a twofold purpose—to spur people on in doing good and to keep them from walking down the wrong road. This passage illustrates what a healthy community looks like in action as we encourage a sinning brother or sister. On the one hand, we are to "restore" them gently and "carry" their burdens. On the other hand, we are to warn with the truth: "Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked.... The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction."

Our call to be encouragers involves not just the positive but the negative as well. There are times when we must hug, and other times when we must speak the truth—still in love, mind you, but perhaps not what the individual wants to hear in that moment.

But this brings up an important question: How do we handle people who refuse all forms of encouragement?

Sometimes people refuse to follow God's Word, and they end up mired in sin, often without realizing their peril. Matthew 18:15-20 and Titus 3:10 address how we must handle such cases, where biblical exhortation is spurned. No matter what the outcome, our ultimate goal must always be restoration through forgiveness, and our ultimate motive must be love.

If someone rejects admonishment even after walking through the process of restoration in Matthew 18, that person must then receive a very tough form of encouragement: They must be put out of the church community. Second Corinthians 2:5-11 suggests that our "tough actions" are meant to have a redemptive result, leading one to sorrow and repentance, and a protective result, preserving the purity of the church. Even in the act of punishment, the goal is to encourage the offender to repent.

Hebrews 10:24 challenges us to "spur one another on" to love and good works. Just as a rider uses a spur to "encourage" his horse toward the goal, so encouragement can assist us as we seek to cross our spiritual finish line. Spurring might seem harsh to an untrained horse, but to the seasoned steed, it is a reminder of the rewards of victory.

As I recall those who have encouraged me, and review the ways they spurred me on, I am appreciative of both the comforting and the tough words, the hugs and the discipline. I know these all push me forward in my Christian life, so that one day I can hear the words of Jesus, "Well done, good and faithful servant! ... Come and share your master's happiness!" (Matt. 25:21).



Dr. Richard Fisher has served as a professor and regional director with Moody Bible Institute.