Don't Stand Alone

Go-It-Alone Faith

For years my wife and I have facilitated small groups for young singles, and the pecking order of their priorities is clear—achieving financial independence and private living quarters are at the top. Add a marital prospect into the mix, and you've just scored bonus points!

This is more than the social posturing of twenty-somethings. It reflects the deeply rooted individualism of American culture. Growing up well generally means becoming autonomous by establishing a career, securing your own place of residence, getting married, and having 1.8 kids—no help needed, thank you very much.

But this definition of ...

Don't Stand Alone

I remind the folks in my congregation that on any given Sunday, they could stay home and hear better preaching and more professional music on the television or through the Internet. The thing they would miss, of course, is spiritual interaction with other people—fellowship, encouragement, friendship, prayer. They would also miss critical motivators for their spiritual growth. And without a chance to practice the "one another" commands of Scripture, they would seriously jeopardize their spiritual health.

The purpose of assembling together is not just to hear from the Word or enter into worship; it is to encourage each other ...

30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge

Proverbs 31:12 says the virtuous wife does her husband "good, and not harm, all the days of her life." Certainly one way to do this is through words of encouragement.

Over the years, I've often issued the 30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge to wives. Here's how it works:

1. For the next 30 days, commit to say nothing negative about your husband—not to him, and not to anyone else about him.

2. Every day for the next 30 days, tell your husband something that you appreciate about him; then tell someone else about it.

The countless responses ...

For Those Who Grieve

Grief is personal, so what helps one person may not help another. Still, there are some things that are important to remember when encouraging grieving friends:

Recognize the time for weeping. Pain comes, and we must make room for it. Anyone who has suffered loss knows that there's nothing predictable about the flow of emotions. This can be especially true in the early hours, days, or weeks after someone dies, but even months later something can trigger emotions causing grief to resurface with surprising intensity. Grief observes no schedule and is rarely convenient.

Beware of being a "fixer." People ...

Mentored by a Milker of Cows

I knew I needed a mentor. I was busy with my career as a physician—too busy for my family. My priorities were out of whack. I needed someone who would encourage me and keep me on track. So I asked the pastors who came through the hospital, "Who's the one layperson you know in this area who looks most like Jesus?" When I heard the name Bill Judge multiple times, I said, "This is a guy I'd like to meet."

I called Bill and asked if he would mentor me. I was taken aback when he quietly ...

Is Encouragement Always Positive?

After a stern reprimand from my coach, I cried out, "I could really use some encouragement!" He responded by quoting legendary basketball coach Bobby Knight: "Many have the will to play, but few have the will to prepare." His words stung, but they helped me improve as a player.

Many times since, the words of Proverbs have proven true in my experience: "Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses" (27:6). "He who rebukes a man will in the end gain more favor than he who has a flattering tongue" (28:23).

Encouraging words aren ...

Prayers for Change

Seven Simple Words

On a recent Sunday, I was hurrying down the building corridor when I passed an older gentleman and said a brief hello. He stopped and began to earnestly tell me how his very ill four-month-old grandson was in a large children's hospital, where doctors were unable to diagnose his condition.

As he finished sharing, I said simply, "Can I pray for you right now?" It only took a moment to pray, but God's presence with us was powerful. We parted ways, trusting God to move in this baby's life.  

Can I pray for you ...

The Source of Encouragement

I love giving advice to people. It's fun (maybe even a little satisfying to the ego) to be sought after on issues of great import. That's when I get to stroke my chin, peer over the rims of my glasses, and draw a deep breath to bring forth words of great blessing for a soul in need.

Or (more honestly), I can admit that I don't know what the person is going through, how their problems can be solved, how their hurts can be comforted, or what decisions they should make.

I don't have the answers ...