Call me crazy, but I'm the kind of guy who likes to talk with people about their struggles. It's not that I relish pathology, but I guess raw conversations make me feel that the relationship is honest—like I'm being given the privilege of looking through a window into the person's soul, into the real subject matter of their heart.

It's generally true that the closer we feel to someone, the more willing we are to open up with our true thoughts, feelings, questions, and dreams. The opposite is also generally true—the less we trust someone, the more we hide our pain, our brokenness, our vulnerability.

And most of us hide a lot.

Even though we know in our heads that it's silly to pretend we can hide things from an all-knowing God, if you're like me, that doesn't keep you from feeling like there are so many things you can't really tell Him.

I often ask people who have shared a piece of their heart with me, "Have you told God about that?" It's interesting how many times the answer is, "Not yet." I wonder why?

Maybe we believe that the things that matter so much to us must surely be utterly insignificant to God—He couldn't possibly want to be bothered. Or perhaps we are dealing with failures we're so ashamed of that the last person we want to address is a holy God. Or maybe it just doesn't seem "appropriate" to spew the rawness of our thoughts and feelings directly on God. Could it be that when it comes right down to it, we don't think God can handle our prayers without a filter?

Have you ever found yourself instinctively picking up the phone to call a friend or counselor for advice without having first stopped to ask the Lord for help and wisdom? For some reason, it's more natural and comfortable for us to turn to people as a "first line of defense" than it is to turn to God.

But I suspect that God actually appreciates it when one of His children simply tells Him what's on their heart. After all, when we're honest with God, it's a sign that we trust Him.

As John Ortberg says, "Prayer becomes real when we grasp the reality and goodness of God's constant presence with 'the real me.' ... I must pray what is in me, not what I wish were in me." [1]

It's instructive to consider the kinds of situations and feelings Jesus thought were conducive for prayer. [2]

• Jesus prayed when His life was crowded and draining (Luke 5:15-16).
• Jesus prayed when He faced important choices (Luke 6:12).
• Jesus prayed when He was sad or burdened (Matt. 14:13).
• Jesus prayed when He needed strength for His work (Mark 1:35, 38).
• Jesus prayed when He was concerned about people He loved (Luke 22:31).
• Jesus prayed when He faced an insurmountable problem (Luke 22:39-24).

Clearly, Jesus believed that prayer included everything He experienced in life—no exceptions.

Our prayer lives will never become relevant or transformational until we include God in the nitty-gritty details of our everyday lives. The practice of telling God everything is not selfish preoccupation, but in fact a sign that we have begun to grasp His nearness and His love. And I mean everything!


[1] The Me I Want to Be, John Ortberg, Zondervan, 2010, pp. 134, 136.
[2] Ibid, pp. 174-175.