Perhaps you've seen the old classic film "Tom, Dick and Harry." It's a humorous story in which Ginger Rogers plays a young woman faced with the difficult choice of deciding which of three suitors to marry. 

Will she marry her old beau Tom, the dashing and handsome Dick, or romantic and charming Harry? She finds each attractive, but the telltale sign of the right match, as far as she is concerned, is whether she hears bells tolling when she is kissed! 

That reminds me of how many believers put the weight of their choices on unreliable feelings and impulses. But Scripture says that he who trusts in his own mind is a fool (Prov. 28:26). In Ephesians 5:17, Paul exhorts believers to walk in wisdom by "understanding the will of the Lord." 

But understanding God's will can be confusing. Author Bruce Waltke actually suggests that the concept of "finding" God's will is pagan. He then surveys various forms of divination that were used in pagan religions, and parallels them to some approaches Christians use today. [1]

I think he's onto something. Believers fall into practices that more closely resemble paganism when they: 

• Make decisions and then pray that God will bless these decisions (especially if they were made with little or no thought about Him).
• Treat the Bible like a Ouija Board and try to get answers from it without interpreting texts in their context.
• Expect a religious professional (a priest, pastor, etc.) to sanction and bless their decisions.
• Attempt to force God's hand by praying for a sign.
• Clear their minds and pray, and then do whatever comes into their heads.

The problem with these approaches is that one can begin to view guidance as a commodity. So God becomes a means rather than an end in Himself. 

Our decisions should never be thought of as ends in themselves, either. They are rather our life situations which provide the context in which we pursue and discover God. These situations and decisions are simply the "stuff" of our transformation and sanctification. Wise decisions are not the destination, but part of the terrain along the journey toward greater conformity to Christ. 

Although God doesn't give us a detailed map of the terrain, He does provide us with a compass (His Word), a means of communicating with Him (prayer), and a company of people to travel with (other believers). And He expects us to make decisions about the specific routes we will take by avoiding everything which will hinder our progress to our final destination. 

With that foundational understanding, consider seven practical steps to making wise decisions. I have adapted these steps from James Petty's excellent book Step by Step: Divine Guidance for Ordinary Christians. They do not reflect any certain order of steps precisely laid down in Scripture, but I believe they reflect wisdom and provide a helpful model for applying God's revealed will in Scripture to the specifics of our lives. 

1. Consecration: Am I living in a transformed relationship with God? 

In Romans 12:1-2, Paul shows us that discernment is conditioned upon a life of consecration--a life marked by surrender, worship, transformation, and the renewing of the mind. Only when I am living in a transformed relationship with God can I expect to discern God's will. 

For many professing Christians, there is a disconnect between the faith they profess and their everyday choices. This should not be! 

If you have been ravished by God's mercy and grace, the only sensible response is to devote your life to the glory of Christ. This involves choosing to live out of sync with this passing age ("do not be conformed to this world") and being changed from the inside out through the renewal of your mind. 

We will never make right decisions about education, occupation, marriage, and money until we are grounded in the supreme vocation of glorifying God and enjoying Him forever. As Jesus said, "Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you" (Matt. 6:33). 

2. Information: Do I know everything I need to know to make this decision? 

First of all, know God's Word. If you are confronted with a decision about vocation, you need a good theology of work. What does God say about work? What kind of work is good? How does work play into God's program in creation and redemption? 

Similar questions need to be asked about marriage, money, ministry, child rearing, political involvement, etc. This means that regular reading and meditation on God's Word is essential for wise and successful decisions (see Ps. 119:97-100). 

Secondly, you need to know yourself. One reason so many people make foolish decisions is that they do not know themselves well. You need to know your temperament, personality, natural talents, and spiritual gifts. How else will you choose a vocation that fits you? How else will you discern where you should specifically serve in God's kingdom? 

Perhaps much of the discontent people feel with their work is due to neglecting this area. As parents, grandparents, and Christians, we need to much better equip our children and grandchildren with an understanding of themselves and how their unique gifts and abilities fit them to pursue Christ's kingdom in this world--both inside and outside of the church. 

Thirdly, know your situation. Proverbs 27:23-24 states, "Know well the condition of your flocks, and give attention to your herds, for riches do not last forever; and does a crown endure to all generations?" This is just an ancient way of saying, "Know your assets." This obviously applies to financial decisions, but I think the principle holds true in other decisions as well. You can't make a wise decision if you don't know the pros and cons of your various choices. 

You must gather and evaluate information. This is one of the most crucial steps, and it can be applied to anything: 

• Before you buy a car, read consumer reports.
• Before you apply for a home loan, visit several different banks.
• Before you join a church, read the statement of faith, attend a membership class, and get to know some of the people.
• Before you go to a college, evaluate its degree programs, its faculty, etc. 

3. Supplication: Have I sought the Lord for wisdom and blessing? 

The Scriptures teach us to pray for wisdom and discernment (James 1:5; Col. 1:9-10). Prayer is crucial because in prayer, we . . . 

• Submit ourselves to God's Word.
• Maintain our fellowship with God.
• Ask God for specific wisdom and insight so as to make the best possible decision.
• Express trust in God's goodness and sovereignty.
• Ask God to direct and arrange our circumstances.
• Ask God to bless the outcome of our decisions for His glory and our good.

Furthermore, it is through prayer that we battle anxiety and fear when faced with decisions for which we do not and cannot know the outcome (Phil. 4:4-7). As Martin Luther said, "Pray and let God worry!" 

4. Consultation: Have I sought the wisdom of others? 

The book of Proverbs heavily emphasizes seeking others' counsel: 

• "Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety" (Prov. 11:14).
• "The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice" (Prov. 12:15).
• "Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed" (Prov. 15:22; see also 19:21; 20:5, 18; 21:30; 24:6). 

Seeking counsel applies in several ways. Obviously, we should seek professional counsel about matters that need professional expertise. If you're having medical problems, go to a doctor. If you're facing financial difficulty, seek out a financial adviser. 

But more importantly, we should seek counsel from and hold ourselves accountable to others within the body of Christ. How should this work? 

The next time you're faced with a decision which leaves you in a quandary, why not talk to two or three people from your small group? Describe your circumstances to them, explain your options, ask for their prayers, and open yourself to their wisdom and counsel. 

They may help you over a spiritual hump, guide you through a family conflict, or give you advice about a major career or family change. Let the body minister to you. 

One other question under this step is, "When is it necessary to seek counsel?" I like the words of James Petty, who says, "We need advice if we are confident of a decision because most foolish decisions are 'clear' to the fool," and, "We need advice on confusing decisions because we are not yet clear." [2]

5. Meditation: Have I carefully thought through this decision? 

Stop. Wait. Evaluate. Spend some time thinking through the previous four steps. One of the most helpful exercises during this stage is to evaluate the pros and cons of each alternative choice. 

I have found it helpful sometimes to take a sheet of paper, draw a line down the middle, and list all the positive factors on one side and all the negative factors on the other. This allows me to carefully weigh my options. 

Meditating about decisions involves focused and proactive reflection on your situation and the factors that should shape your decision (God's Word, your motivations, the data you have about the situation, the counsel you've received, etc.). Taking time to do this will save you from both hasty decisions and paralysis in decision making.

A majority of our bad decisions are hasty decisions. We make hasty decisions when we haven't taken enough time to think about the situation. Proverbs 19:2 says, "Desire without knowledge is not good, and whoever makes haste with his feet misses his way." 

6. Decision: What is the best possible decision I could make? 

If you have done the first five steps, the sixth step is relatively simple. Simply make a decision based on the previous information. 

For some people this will still be difficult, because we like to have a 100% money-back guarantee on everything. But life isn't like that. 

We are always limited in our knowledge, and there is often risk. We simply do not know how things will turn out. That's life. You will make some choices that you'll wish you hadn't made, even when you've done your best to avoid foolish decisions. 

What do you do if you get to this stage and you still don't know what to do? If possible, backtrack. Maybe you need more information, more counsel, or more time to think. 

But the choice to wait is itself a decision, and sometimes delays will be costly. If you wait too long to say yes to the job, it may be given to someone else. If you wait too long to ask her to marry you, she might lose interest. If you don't buy the house while it's available, someone else may take it. 

With most major decisions, you must decide, but you shouldn't have to delay indefinitely if you've carefully gone through the previous five steps. 

7. Expectation: Am I trusting the goodness and grace of God? 

In a familiar but often misunderstood passage, we read: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths" (Prov. 3:5-6). 

God will make your paths straight when you trust Him. That doesn't mean you will have infallible information with which to make decisions. Nor does it mean you will never experience difficulty. In fact, we know that suffering is sometimes a crucial part of God's will. But we need not fear, because we are trusting in the Lord who holds our future in His hands (see Ps. 112:1, 6-7). 

Endnotes: 

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[1] Bruce Waltke, Finding the Will of God: A Pagan Notion? (Grand Rapids, MI: William B. Eerdmans Publishing Company, 2002). Waltke teaches a model for decision making that is very similar, although not identical, to the one presented in James Petty's Step by Step: Divine Guidance for Ordinary Christians (Phillipsburg, NJ: P&R Publishers, 1999), which has shaped this article.

[2] Petty, 223.