Testimonies of Forgiveness

I was seeking the Lord, and Clint was occasionally visiting church on Sunday mornings. Clint hunted and worked, and I raised the kids. We communicated very little . . . just the bare minimum. I took the kids to church. Most attempts to reconnect our family quickly became arguments. We truly lived separate lives. He did his thing. The kids and I did ours. My heart was tough . . . not much tenderness toward Clint.

About two years before Life Action, the Lord revealed to me that I should meet Clint at his level, find a church of his choice. I resigned from my ten positions at that church after much prayer. For two months, we didn’t attend church. Clint came around, and we began to visit churches. As we began to visit Fairview, the Lord truly began to work in our marriage and home. Clint actually enjoyed the music and our pastor. Clint even started attending Sunday School class with me. I found a new tenderness inside that surprised me. We connected with a godly family. We began homeschooling our two children due to our son’s health.

The Lord used the time from Oct. ’07 to Apr. ’08 to reunite our family time. Homeschooling was only chosen because of our son’s health, but it revealed how controlled we were by other schedules, not God’s. Clint being self-employed had random days off. We now could enjoy Dad! We began fishing as a family! We even had a home-school fishing class. We began spending time together like never before.
 
Life Action came to Fairview Apr. ’08. God had big plans for our family! After a plea from the church, we opened our home for two staffers. We live 30 minutes from the church and thought we were too far away. However, God seems to know no limits! Praise Him!

Clint attended almost every night, missing only the two nights he taught class at a nearby college. He even attended the family seminar on Saturday! We received so much biblical information. Clint realized his place as the leader of his family. We cancelled programmed television, and out in the country we can’t even pick up news stations. PTL! Clint told our children that we would continue to home school because of the changes we can see God has brought through it. God totally transformed our home.

I still had a deep secret that I was suppressing. I couldn’t see myself as H.O.T. (Honest. Open. Transparent.) If I exposed myself, I was possibly destroying what I had been praying for the past two years. About seven years prior, I had an affair. Six weeks before the summit, Ryan visited our church, along with a man who shared his testimony of an affair . . . I missed that service. But, God made sure I had a magazine from Life Action—one that had so many stories of H.O.T. people! I actually stopped reading it and gave it to a friend because I was so convicted about my affair.

Into the second week of our revival, I knew I had to confess to Clint. I asked the revivalist and his wife (Ryan and Mal) for prayer. They offered prayer and seasoned advice. It was a night that Clint taught, and I knew it was time to talk. In our room that night, we sat talking, which is very unusual. I felt as though God set up the scene. He was saying, “Okay, it’s time.” I held Clint’s hand, and I confessed. I confessed more than the affair. I confessed darker secrets about the condition of my heart. He never let go of my hand! He even prayed over me and for the condition of my heart! He forgave me that night. Honestly, I expected a fight, anger, how could you’s, someone leaving in the night . . . anything other than forgiveness.

The very next night at service, Ryan offered a chance for all couples to participate in a renewal of wedding vows. Clint was the first to stand! I am crying now as I remember. It was such a precious moment for us. The affair was two years before I began walking with God, and at our original marriage vows, I didn’t view it as a covenant with the LORD. On April 8, 2008, Clint and I married each other as Christians with a Christ-centered covenant. Now, we tell people our anniversary is in April as opposed to November.

So many from our church commented on Clint’s change, not knowing of what we really had been through. Our pastor asked, “Can you believe it? The difference in Clint Gourley is incredible!” I said, “You don’t know half of it.”

The following summer we went on our first mission trip as a family. We visited orphans in Mexico. Our hearts were torn for the children. We fell in love with the Christian people tending to the fatherless. Not speaking fluent Spanish did not stop us! We have continued to visit the orphanages and minister to them.

In August of 2008, the Lord revealed to me that I needed to sacrifice my reputation and share how He transformed us. So, I did. I have told of the work God performed even through my faults. Being H.O.T. for the Lord has transformed me even more. I have stopped taking antidepressants that I took for years. Satan had me convinced I could never tell of the affair, and I needed that pill to help suppress what God wanted me to let go of. Praise God for all He is and always will be!

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